6 thoughts on “Rants..

  1. Dude, the top is broken. Hear this:

    Lipsește acel rant: ‘everything is more important than this’:

    J.D.: Come on, man, it’s our last week together! The J.D. and Cox train is pulling into the station. You must have a metaphor you want to use; hit me with it!

    Dr. Cox: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh… Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, ‘The O.C.’, the U.N., recycling, getting Punk’d, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything – eve – everything that exists – past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions. Oh! And Hugh Jackman.

    The Buttonless speech:

    You couldn’t push my buttons if you tried, in fact I have no buttons, please think of me as buttonless: all smooth like G.I. Joe’s nether regions. and by the by this image is brought to you by my son jack who has been yanking the pants off his toy soldiers and leaving them in provocative positions on my nightstand. It is just disturbing enough that leaving the house I’m cranky and less able to suffer fools which brings me back to you: the fool! I’m done suffering you so go now, go, go before you can write a book called: “Help! A Large Doctor Is Beating Me On The Ass COLON The Lester Hedrick Story!”

    ‘You look like a purse’ rant:

    Mr. Warner: I just want to look good.

    Dr. Cox: You, my friend, look so damn leathery I’m honestly tempted to wrap ya around a baseball, synch ya up with a belt, and stick ya under my mattress so that you’re good and broken in for the big game on Sunday. Buut, since I’m here to heal not judge, I’m gonna go ahead and write you a couple of prescriptions. You’ll find that this first one is for an extra large mallet to help ya pound some sense into yourself. [Rips it off and throws the paper at Mr. Warner] The second one is for a big floppy hat that you’re now to wear every single time ya leave the house. [Throws it at Mr. Warner] Have a great day, ya look like a purse!

    Dr. Kelso: Perry, a word.


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